he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
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Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
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i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This can only be settled by a dance off.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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