we're blogging at a bar
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize