Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
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Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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