i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
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That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
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I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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