My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
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Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize