Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
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enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
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If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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