Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize