Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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