He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
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Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
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Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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