I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
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drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
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Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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