Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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