Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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