My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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