They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize