i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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