Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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