my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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