i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize