I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize