youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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