I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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