I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize