I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize