Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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