You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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