i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize