ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he told me I talked like a deaf person
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize