Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize