I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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