what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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