I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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