Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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