anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize