Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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