there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
True but thats because hes a fetus.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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