All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize