I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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