this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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