so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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