Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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