My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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