the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
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Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
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How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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