Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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