oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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