Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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