i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize