Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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