Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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