Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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