She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize