So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
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she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
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my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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